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LIFE SUPPORT By Mike Rubin, BS, NREMT-P 58 MARCH 2015 | EMSWORLD.com Certification Experimentation With EMT-P being phased out, what's a non-nationally registered medic to do? THIS MIGHT BE JUST ANOTHER MARCH FOR YOU. For me it marks a big step in my eventual return to civilian life. Take a look at my bio at the end of this column; this is the last time you'll see NR after my name. The National Registry requires members to be active prac- titioners—like with protocols and medical direction and stethoscopes. I still have my ears somewhere, but that's about it. I haven't treated a patient since 2013. I thought maybe I could get certified as the EMS World house medic, but my editor says there's a law against her signing MD after her name. Yup, even in California. I told her she could always say MD stands for Master of Deadlines or Memorized Dictionary—espe- cially in California. She said something about me having an omega-3 deficiency and invited me to do a feature on résumé-writing. Next I wondered if I could get an EMS job somewhere that doesn't involve bending, squatting and lifting—or standing after bending, squatting and lifting. A Google search came up with two possibilities: paramedic on a merry-go-round and night-shift medic at a cemetery. If the latter comes with cable and a Barcalounger, I'm interested. The Registry says EMT-P is being phased out, so I'm wondering what I should call myself after March 31. If I were still registered, it would be NRP, per Registry guidelines for paramedics. Does that mean I'll be NNRP, as in not nationally registered, after 3/31? Talk about getting off on the wrong foot with people. I could accentuate the positive and call myself state-registered, or SRP, except that sounds like there should be a price after my name. What if I drop the S and make it RP for registered paramedic? Is RP any better than just plain P? Yeah, I know, lots of words starting with P fit me. We'll go through that list some other time. I could always settle for Mike Rubin, paramedic. Sounds a little pretentious, though. Even in Hollywood, where embellishment is a way of life, Marcus Welby, Doctor would have been a bit much. Back to that idea about state registry: I'm still a Tennessee paramedic—I even have a license that says so. The Volunteer State has pretty much bet the ranch I won't do anything heroic and stupid to patients in the name of Davy Crockett or Alvin York. I appreciate Tennessee's loyalty and would like to acknowledge its commitment to me by substituting TN for NR, as in TNP. Wherever I go, whatever I do, everyone will know where my medical direction is supposed to be coming from. Couldn't all medics who aren't nationally registered use their state abbreviations followed by P? Right away we'd be identifying our state, our protocols and which side we were on in the 1860s. I bet some of those nationally registered medic-elitists would downgrade just so they could be like us; well, maybe not too many. Still, it would be cool to be part of a brand-new trend. I mean newer than community para- medicine. State abbreviations as pre- fixes would create some inter- esting acronyms. For example, Hawaii would be a good place for medics my age to work, not only because of the climate and scenery, but because we'd all finally be HIP. I spent a lot of time trying to be hip in the '60s. I'm not sure I ever made it. I had the Nehru jacket, but the medallion was too heavy and expensive. When the Hollies sang "He ain't heavy," they definitely weren't talking about someone with a medallion. Colorado would be popular with medics who got into EMS only because they failed law-enforcement physicals. There's something exhilarating about becoming a COP without any training. You're basically telling the world you're a freethinker—an individualist not constrained by other people's rules, except the ones recommending incarceration for police imper- sonators. Do they have medics in the Virgin Islands? They must, at least for sunburns and jellyfish stings, right? Well, then we finally have a place where paramedics will get the respect we deserve. I'm talking about prior- ity seating at the swankiest restaurants, free passes to the best shows and courtesy detours around security checkpoints at airports, if they have any airports in the Virgin Islands. Just show your VIP card. And then there's Rhode Island. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mike Rubin, BS, NREMT-P, is a paramedic in Nashville, TN, and a member of the EMS World editorial advisory board. Contact him at mgr22@prodigy. net. I could accentuate the positive and call myself state- registered, or SRP.